Blog

So much of the Christmas season is about creating joy and excitement for children. From presents and treats to sparkly decorations, songs, and games, the festive season combines everything our children love. So why is the silly season often the time when we see more meltdowns, tears, and undesirable behaviour from our children? Many parents expect their children to be on cloud nine during the Christmas season, so it can be disappointing and upsetting to feel like your child is actually struggling a lot more during this period. But rest assured, this is actually very normal. The combination of too much excitement (presents, presents, presents!), lots of treats (sugar highs and sugar crashes), a disruption to the schedule, and lots of socialising can all be a little overwhelming for children (and for many adults).  While a few extra meltdowns may be inevitable, there’s plenty you can do to ensure your Christmas celebrations are more enjoyable for the whole family.

Talk them through it

Children love knowing what to expect and because the normal routine usually goes out the window during the festive season, many children can find this destabilising. Combat this by talking to your child about the upcoming events so they know exactly what is going to happen, and when. Older children may enjoy a little calendar or list of events they can tick off, while for younger children this may be as simple as explaining to them in the morning where they are going, who they will see and what they will do. It can be reassuring for children to remind them of the parts of their routine that will be staying the same. For example, “tonight we’re going to Aunty Laura’s house for a party. After the party, we will come home and do your normal bedtime routine, and tomorrow we will walk the dog in the morning like we normally do.”

Stick to the routine as much as possible

It goes without saying that your days will look a little different around Christmas time, but it’s a good idea to keep some parts of your routine the same if possible. If there are certain rituals that your child seems to find particularly soothing, it’s worth going to the effort to do them consistently even when everything else is different in your day. For example, if your child normally has quiet reading time after lunch, you could still do this even if you’re at a relative’s house – simply pack a book with you and find a quiet corner to cuddle up in for 20 minutes or so. A simple ritual like this can be very regulating for a child, giving them the downtime and one-on-one connection they need to power through the rest of the day of festivities.

Roleplay

If you expect your child may encounter some challenging situations over the holiday period, it can help to prepare for them through some role play. For example, you could role-play what your child might like to say if they receive a gift they don’t like or how to deal with a cousin’s challenging behaviour. Even discussing these topics with your child can help them feel supported and remind them that you are there to help them through any challenging situations that may come up.

Keep calm

Easier said than done right? Christmas can be a stressful time for parents and many parents want to go above and beyond to make their child’s day special. While thoughtful gestures are great, try not to overextend yourself to the point where you feel stressed and overburdened. Your child will likely have a better Christmas with a relaxed, happy parent and less complex surprises or Christmas-themed baked goods.

Plan one major event per day

While it can be tempting to cram the holidays full of exciting events, your child is more likely to enjoy the season if they have plenty of downtime to balance out high-energy events. Try to pace yourself throughout the festive season and schedule events like carols by candlelight, Christmas light spotting, and Santa photos on different days to Christmas parties or dinners.

Schedule in downtime

With that in mind, it can be helpful to actively schedule some “downtime” at home with your child. Remember that things like simply sitting on the ground playing with toys, reading books, and splashing in a long bath are deeply regulating activities for children, so including plenty of time for these things each day can help prevent overwhelm and allow them to fully enjoy the fun activities you do have planned.

Keep an eye on food

Christmas is, of course, a time for lots of treats and there’s no need to rob your child of the enjoyment of festive foods. However, it is a good idea to keep an eye on exactly what and how much they are consuming, as children can easily fill up on sweets and forget to eat their main meal, leading to a combination of excess sugar and hunger that will undoubtedly lead to a meltdown. It can be helpful to make sure your child is sitting down for the main meal before the treats come out, as even a few bites of some healthy proteins, fats and fibre can help balance out the effect of all that sugar and ensure they are not becoming too hungry.

The Christmas holidays can be a magical time for families, but if you have young children, rest assured you’re not the only one who also finds it a little stressful. When you consider that most children thrive off routine and become easily dysregulated when their routine is disrupted, it’s easier to understand and empathise with their overwhelm during the festive season. Keep things simple and remember that what your child actually values the most is quality time and lots of connection with the people they love.

At Heritage House, we help the children prepare for a happy and calm Christmas season by talking through some of our favourite traditions, learning Christmas songs, and creating Christmas crafts to gift to loved ones. To learn more about our centres, contact us today.